Debriefing after the riots

I have 13 kids in my class and I was very worried about how I was going to listen to each of their stories when I was still feeling stressed.

I greeted each child with a huge hug when they entered the classroom and set some ground rules. One, get your backpack unpacked (routine), two, fill your water bottle with clean water since it had been a week (routine) and last not talking about the trouble until we all got together on the carpet.

One child came in and greeted me with, "I almost got shot." A quick giving of rules and she skipped off to fill her water bottle. Once all the students got to their desks after the bell to start school rang, there was one student that was absent. One child said, "I think she is dead." A stern look and an invitation to all go to the carpet quieted this little boy!

I started with the rules. Each child would be given a turn to tell their story. Each child could only tell the class what they personally heard or saw. We had all heard rumors and kids do overhear parents and sense their fears. I did not want to create extra anxiety by hearing what others had heard others saying.

After a child had shared they had heard shooting, I clarified whether it was a lot or a little. Were they scared? Did they stay in their house the entire time or go to another location?

Only one little girl seemed very quiet which was not her normal self. After she was able to tell her story and how scared she was, she seemed to regain her smile at least in her eyes. I affirmed that it was OK to be scared and ask if she had told her mom how scared she was. She had not, so I encouraged her to talk to her mom and tell her. (A letter from the Principal was going home that day that encouraged parents to let their kids talk about their own fears and what they had heard from other students.) Out of my 13 kids, 4 were far enough away from the trouble that they didn't hear any gun fire. But 9 did and admitted to being scared.

Our funny family story was that we were all still stressed and my 17 year old was making toast in the morning for breakfast and when the toast popped, she jumped and yelped. My third graders enjoyed the story and it helped them see that sometimes we react funny when we are feeling stress. My daughter had kids come up to her all day and smile and say "toaster". She wants to be a Psych. major in college and help traumatized kids, so she was a good sport realizing that it helped some kids not feel so weird when they jumped at different things.

School resumed and I tried to keep a normal light schedule. I was so tired I went home and took a nap! Pray for the kids in the school. Some saw more than they should have.